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Vos is a stand-up comic from Jersey who gained fame on the first season of “Last Comic Standing” and constant appearances on “The Opie and Anthony Show.”
Vos made me laugh harder than any comic I’ve interviewed.
Most miserable man alive coming to Danbury
DANBURY – Rich Vos is a stand-up comic. He is a regular guest on the “Opie and Anthony” show on satellite radio. He was also on the first season of “Last Comic Standing” and he was a rotating guest on Comedy Central’s “Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn.”
He’s also the most miserable man alive.
Q: During stand-up shows, comics not performing always seem to sit in a corner table and talk. What are you people talking about?
A: They usually talk about how brilliant I am. Usually the conversation is ‘God, Rich Vos is brilliant. I which I could talk to him but he’s just too big to talk to us.’ That’s usually what goes on.
Q: Do you sit there and bad-mouth other comics like Jay Mohr, the “Last Comic Standing” host?
A: Jay Mohr is too easy. Jay Mohr bad-mouths himself. That’s all we do is bash each other. It’s just a bunch of insecure, self-centered egotists bashing each other.
Q: You raised your profile after appearing on NBC’s reality show “Last Comic Standing,” where a bunch of stand-ups lived together in a house.
A: I turned it down until the day before they started filming.
Q: What were your concerns with the show?
A: That I wouldn’t look good because I’m too mean and abrasive. It would have been the biggest mistake of my life.
Q: I’m going to group you in with edgy comics such as Jim Florentine, Colin Quinn, Jim Norton . . .
A: Whoa, whoa. You group them in with me. Don’t group me with them.
Q: OK. Do comics of similar styles tend to hang out together offstage?
A: I tend to hang out with creepier people. Jim Norton, (Patrice) Oneal, Florentine – they are all pure dysfunction and they make my life look better. I’m not going to hang out with lawyers or doctors. I’ll feel like a total zero. But with them, I feel like I’ve accomplished things in my life.
Q: You’ve been on “The View” three times.
A: I was on Rosie O’Donnell a few times. That’s my target audience. Middle-aged moms who are trying to decide ‘Should I sell real estate, or should I (have sex) with the guy next door?’
Q: Who’s creepier – comic Jim Norton or Star Jones?
A: No one’s creepier than Norton. If hepatitis was in human form it would be him.
Q: When you first hooked up with Opie and Anthony, did you think they were a Howard Stern rip-off?
A: I never thought they were a rip-off at all. I thought they were their own. I mean, there’s only a certain amount of topics you can do. They do their own spin on stuff. I was never a big Stern listener because I’m never up that early.
Q: You met Dustin Hoffman at last year’s Academy Awards. He played Lenny Bruce, every comic’s idol. What did you say to him?
A: I go to him, ‘You know, I also played Lenny Bruce.’ I compared my four lines on a show called ‘American Dreams’ to his Oscar nominated performance in a movie. I felt like a fat chick. That’s what I was. I wanted to go dip my arm in cheese and nibble on it. Barbra Streisand was there too and I didn’t talk to her. I said something stupid to Dustin Hoffman and I shunned Barbara Streisand. I just walked away. That’s why I’m working Danbury this week. That’s why he’s doing a movie every month and I’m doing a hotel for freakin’ Brad (Axelrod, The Treehouse Comedy Club producer).
Q: But you’re being interviewed by The News-Times. That’s pretty good.
A: Yeah, I heard of you. I heard of you. Are you kidding me? This is the second thing on the resume. This pushes everything down. The Oscars, then News-Times. And then my high school paper. And then an Internet interview.
Q: What about all these shows on E! and VH-1 where comics just comment on stuff?
A: I did one with E! They aired one word. That’s all they aired in a two-hour special. It was about the 50 best chick flicks. They aired me saying ‘ditto.’ I did one on VH-1. I’m sure it’s all sitting on the editing room floor. I’m sure they said ‘We can’t put that on. We can’t put that on.’
At this point Vos launched into an off-color joke we can’t print.