1. DIE SQUIRRELS!
That is Afrikaan for “the squirrel.”
People are still talking/or we’re just running letters about the fact I used the phrase “fried squirrel” to describe a CL&P substation vs. squirrel incident in Danbury a few weeks back.
No one seems to remember I also described squirrels as “our furry friends.”
The “how to describe dead squirrel debate” landed on Fark.com, which is why a letter on the subject is currently the most read story on NewsTimes.com. I’m happy to say most Fark readers are OK with my description, so I got that goin’ for me (a ConnPost.com story also made Fark today, so I’m guessing an employee either here or in Bridgeport is Farking crazy).
2. “Twilight” Sucks
Unfortunately, pre-teens all over the U.S. are celebrating some PG-13 limp vampire flick. Fathers across the country, please run out and rent a late 80s flick called “Near Dark.”
Like “Twilight,” it’s about young vampire love, but with Lance Henrickson, Bill Pullman and a lot of throat slashing. Here’s the darn trailer:
3. “Too Fat to Fish” is Hilarious
Here is a review of Artie Lange’s book “Too Fat to Fish.” I liked the book, but as I was writing my review, I wrote myself into a corner and somehow the review turned negative — so I didn’t finish.
Here it is:
Last week I finished my copy of Artie Lange’s “Too Fat To Fish,” the NY Times no. 1 bestseller.
That’s right, a book authored by a fat, ex-junkie whore-mongerer is the bestselling nonfiction book in the U.S.
Check this out:
Oh wait, the photo uploader no longer works.
The book has two underlying themes. First, it’s a loving tribute to Artie’s parents, especially his dad, who infamously fell off a roof when Artie was 18 and then died a few years later.
That experience, according to Artie, fuels Artie’s massive substance abuse problems, which are chronicled in the rest of the memoir.
The book is, essentially, a drunkalogue, with Artie sharing a ton of funny stories you’ve undoubtedly heard before if you’re a Sirius subscriber.
There’s Artie’s high-on-coke-while-wearing-a-pigsuit-while-on-MadTV story.
There’s Artie’s I-almost-robbed-a-bank-to-impress-a-chick story.
There’s Artie’s An-Italian-deli-dude-wouldn’t-sell-me-an-egg-sandwich-a-dumb-Irish-guy-wanted story.
They are funny, semi-tragic stories. Artie’s appeal isn’t as a stand-up or as a comedic actor (although, from the way he boasts, he seems to think it is).